Observations of the Beach People
By: Andrew Thomas
Person A was out on the beach by himself. Persons B and C walked up and claimed a spot right next to Person A. Persons B and C took off part of clothes only to be left in bathing suits. Person A slowly, subtlety stared at Person B through sunglasses. Person C who was with Person B and also wore sunglasses, played it cool amidst sudden rage at Person A for checking out Person B. Person B who was also wearing sunglasses subtly smiled at Person A.
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Person D went in to buy some sunscreen because Person E forgot to bring it on this sunny day. Person F was working the register and felt uncomfortable after he told Person D the price or the sunscreen at this spot right by the beach and Person D was yelling at both Person E and Person F because of the price.
Person I wore an extra large fanny pack and walked out to the beach strip to look at art and trinkets for sale. Person J, who was manning an art display, saw Person I and asked him if he wanted any drugs. Person I screamed and ran back to his hotel room and curled up on his bed and hugged his fanny pack.
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Person K was a tourist at the beach and didn’t know exactly where she was. She saw Person L fishing at the pier and asked him where was I-10 and how long until it hits I-405. Person L instantly corrected Person K that it is the 10 and the 405.
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Person G didn’t know the rules of the beach because she just moved here from Kentucky. She asked the lifeguard (Person H) what the rules were at the beach. Person H replied:
Lay to Get a tan
Sit to get a tan
Go to a pier (tanning technically prohibited)
Attempt to surf: tan optional depending on the need for wet suit
Volleyball (more likely in South Bay) - must have cool shades and / get a tan
Swimming in ocean allowed
Swimming in Venice canals prohibited (because they are toxic)
Person M decided to be cool and lift weights at the weight room on the beach. He did 3 sets on the bench press as several tourists photographed him. He then proceeded to go to an emergency room and get a tetanus shot after doing the bench press on the beach. He believed it was worth it.
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Person N wandered into the canals. He was really bad with directions and got lost.
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Person X had forever been searching for buried treasure at the beach using a metal detector. For over 25 years, she had found nothing but still had woken up at 6AM and come out to scan the beach. One day her metal detector finally buzzed. It was just a syringe.
